Executive function strategies
3 strategiesSensory-Safe Brush Selection
Hair brushing is one of the most common sensory triggers for children like yours - the scalp is highly sensitive to touch and pulling. Try a wide-tooth detangling comb, a wet brush, or a Tangle Teezer-style brush before a standard bristle brush. Apply a detangling spray first to reduce friction. Let your child hold and examine the brush before it touches his head. Removing the sensory barrier often removes the behavior entirely.
Countable Steps with a Visual End
Break brushing into countable strokes rather than open-ended time: "We're doing 10 brushes and then we're done." Count out loud together, with your child holding up fingers or counting along. A concrete, numbered endpoint gives your child a way to tolerate the experience because he can see it ending. Always stop exactly when you said you would - this builds trust for next time.
Distraction + Proprioceptive Input First
One minute before brushing, firmly press both hands on top of your child's head for 5-10 seconds (joint compression). This proprioceptive input can reduce tactile sensitivity at the scalp temporarily. Then begin brushing while your child watches a preferred 60-second video clip or holds a preferred sensory toy. Combining sensory prep with a distraction reduces the brain's ability to hyperfocus on the discomfort.
Activity game
Brush the Doll First
Keep a doll or stuffed animal with brushable hair near the bathroom. Before brushing your child's hair, brush the doll's hair together - narrating ("gently, gently, 1-2-3"). Then say "your turn!" and move to your child. This warm-up externalizes the experience, lets your child practice tolerance by watching, and sets a gentle, predictable tone. Your child may also begin brushing the doll himself, which builds comfort with the sensation through play.
ABA strategies
2 tipsTeach tolerance in tiny steps
If the brush causes distress, start by rewarding your child just for letting the brush touch his shoulder. Then the back of the neck. Then the top of the head without moving. Each step gets its own reward before moving forward. You are not rushing to the goal - you are teaching the nervous system that this thing is safe, one small exposure at a time.
Make the hard thing predict the good thing
Right now, the brush may feel like a bad thing. ABA teaches us to pair the brush with something your child already loves - his favorite song playing, a preferred toy in hand, your silliest voice. Do this every single session without exception. Over weeks, the brush itself starts to feel okay because it has been repeatedly paired with good things. The neutral thing borrows the positive feeling of what it's paired with.
Press the button when your little one is done!